Still Looking

I have been away a long time Looking for some thing I could not find; Like Odysseus, I took many detours My dear Penelope. I lost my way and my mind But I held on to Ariadnes Thread. As when Theseus Slew the minotaur It is said. Myths and legends I grew up Knowing. The exploits of ancient heroes. That was a mistake For I cannot break the bond. Now I value you as a friend. I suppose You know more of me Than any other does. Tell me what you see How does this end? In a galaxy of probability. But remember, Life is just a spell.

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Formality

He's a creature of formality, And the banality Of it. He got caught By gravity. Explain that to me? Can't you see The brutality of it? And honestly I came unprepared For this exam. But subconsciously I kind of know who I am. Don’t lose the place, You are just wasting Time. The pattern here I cannot displace Leave no trace, Lest life leaves you in disgrace.  

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How Does It Feel?

How does it feel? I have no reputation. The music seems unreal, Defies my expectation. Let's keep this real. Been a long time Since I felt your skin Next to me; But trust me Darling I can't forget, And of course I regret What happened between us. I have a different focus now, You have too; But you are always in my lens, Does not cleans The charm of you. Wish it did, But it don’t And so I steal Another day.

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Too Much

We kiss, we touch Am I too much? Did I come on too strong? Love means more to me Than I could ever say, But I still like to play. Sorry, I was wrong; Misfired reasoning, Thoughts gone astray. Forgive my indiscretion; Caught in the moment I guess, where I belong. Take me up, Take me higher. You have the quiet power To inspire. Yes, I need tighter rhymes Yes, I need better rhythm. There is nothing given here. Don’t be kind, I am not blind, Just can't seem to see; But I will find A way To climb the tower Of my expectation I have to believe that much.  

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Prayer to Who?

Lead me from confusion And delusion, Deliver me from falsity. Test my humanity. You will see Far from perfect, I am circumspect In word and deed. I don’t believe in sin But right and wrong. I know which side  The ledger of life I wish to be on. The immutable past has gone. The future is uncertain Does the curtain close? Very odd how you chose. Now make a list And count the things that you have missed. Some quite small, Others massive And all this time you were passive. Why? You must enquire within. Amen.

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Soul Stealer – First Idea for Psychosis Book

I woke up and looked in the mirror while you lay in bed. Still no reflection. Sun light in the room cast shadows, but not mine. In a panic I dressed hastily to leave the house. “Come back to bed” you said. “No” “Why not?” “I have to meet someone” looking at the clock I was already late. “Who?” “Non of your fucking business!” I screamed. “You can't speak to people like that.” “I just did.” “ I don’t think you're very nice.” I gave a slow sarcastic hand clap. “Top of the class, now fuck off.” Nonplussed you dressed and left. “Bye the way, no calls, no emails, no letters, but you were good. Byeee” I said. The door slammed, I watched which way you went. Then exited quietly in the opposite direction, breaking into a run to reach the rendezvous. I wanted it back. I reached the café, he wasn’t there yet. But he never broke a promise. Breathless, I sat down, ordered coffee. I saw him pass the window, he came through the door. I had seen him many times before, and he smiled at me and took a seat. “Well, hello there” the richness of his voice drew you forward. He continued.” You're still alive, in a way, but my, how you have changed.” My fists balled under the table. He laughed. “You can't hurt me. But I can erase you because now, you belong to ME.” “NO” I shouted. The people in the café looked at us. “Moderate yourself boy. Don’t frighten, it achieves nothing. Are you unhappy with the deal we struck?” His face was full of sympathy, and barely hidden malice. He went on. “You have been granted every childish dream you thought of. What you did with them was down to you.” My chest heaved as I knew this was true. “But what about me” I pleaded. He smirked. “You know there is no 'me'. Its just a construct to get you through the day. A trick of the mind. No self. Your Buddha got close, but difficult to bribe. Now you're a horse of a different colour. Eminently corruptible” his steady…

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My Emotion Now

Some people might get some pleasure, You're not one, I am sure. On my radio I can put on a show. You were my anchor, Now I am all at sea. Pen to page I don’t know where this leads; It's unformed. Like me. But you get what you see. Made many mistakes But never deceived. I love you too much, Now I can't touch.

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The Cynic

  I live in empty spaces, In the interstice Of life. Not looking for another, I just don’t want a wife. This is no gimmick; I am a professional Cynic. We lead seamless lives. One day folds to another. And yesterdays traces are gone. Where they go I do not know But memory persists.      

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Not Impressive

I know I am not impressive; But I am generous and kind. I pay no mind To those Who find My actions are deplorable. I just want to help, I still think you're adorable. That won't go away, And so I say goodbye My princess. This hurts me more than I can say And I prey And I pray; But there is no way back, I fell too far, No retrieving, No deceiving of who you are.

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Hideaway

I need a place to go and hideaway; I can't stay here any more. The core of my problem, All too evident. I wish I had the wits To prevent What is happening to me, But I don’t. Wake up Wake up. Amazingly, I find myself still alive. How can this be? The self imposed abuse I go through every day Would kill an elephant What does that say about me? Resilient I guess.

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Bring Me Back

I mean no harm, But the charm Of me Has gone. Now I am on the run; Escaping what I don’t know. I want to show you The deliberation Of my expectation. I did love you so, Still do. Bring me back from the precipice. Why can't I get a kiss From you? That means something. Your lips are sealed, There's the reveal. You have gone for another. I don’t care about that, But you have bliss In your pocket, And you wear it well. But remember Life is just a spell.

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Magic Vixen

You do not hold back. I know this is true. I said 'I love you' back on you. The sirens scream for an arrest; I detest, that’s an early warning. The sun is dawning. Will I pull through? I must try Or die. You were my magic vixen; A fighter through and through. Ready to save, And be brave good.  

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Scathing Walls

They want me to fit in, So I scratch the walls 'Till my nails bleed. What I need Is to get them off my tail. I can't bail, Never shirk a fight; But the cold light Of my destiny Grows pail. How can such a square peg Fit in to reality? That’s a matter for me To decide. I confide this to you, As you are true. The ship has sailed But I still love you  

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Lost & Found

The smile on his face. Looks like a special Child Who just wants to know What comes next; Blessed with intuition. A talent Once forgotten, Sensitive in the extreme. You can't fool him; He watches everything, But doesn’t know The beam of light Focused on him Gives him away. He must slow down, Or reach solid ground Or end up in the lost and found.

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A Man of Little Talent

Am I an angel, Or the devil incarnate? Now have to stand on my own two feet And listen to the beat Of my heart. What does this say about me? I am not a loner, I delight in eccentricity. Troubled minds I can cope with, The clover they live in. Students who walk down my street Don’t realise It's tough out there. That’s not on the curriculum, Life is not to play for fun; But the sun also rises On those who don’t run. Commitment was essential. I never really worked, Just had causes I believed in. I did my best With what little talent I had.

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Just For You

I write this just for you. I understand what you are going through. There is no closure; Life exposed In its rawest. The pain is great, Don’t operate. I feel the lash too; But we can be heroes, After a fashion. Hold my hand, I can take you there. Where are we now? "I don’t know, But we have to accept Pronto” No escape from humanity.  

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One More Time

The battles lines are drawn, The scornful hate withdrawn. I will go toe to toe With anyone you know. I have lost my greatest treasure; But the measure Of a man Is what he fights for. Justice, Freedom, Is what he claims. But they do not know What happens in dreams. Pass away And the schemes Fall apart. And when he calls Will you pick up the phone, he just needs to hear your voice One more time?

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The Horse

Talent loves genius, But genius steals From all around. He is really serious But unsure of his ground. Life don’t take place in a novel, You cant scribble it out; Leaves an indelible stain On the soul And the whole Of your life You are left with the feeling Of incompleteness. Must I compress This into detail? I would If I could. I choose not to cause distress, I don’t forget My code. The horse I rode Took me places I didn’t want to go; Sometimes thought I would implode. The grass don’t grow under a rolling stone So I have to start believing, Stop grieving Fly high and you will know.

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