I was shouting in a canyon. Every step I took Echoed from the walls; But the calls of hell Shook me. You can't go there, Whatever the despair. I know you feel And steal from tomorrow. I live on borrowed time, But I will never decline The courtesy you bring, Perhaps sorrow.
For all the women I never had When I tried to impress. For the love I gave And the love I had That never seemed to last. For the drugs and booze when I went too far A creature of excess. For the life I built And almost wrecked Yet built again from scratch. For the money I made And the lifestyle You cannot beat the cash. For the pressure I took, Common coal to diamond That just will not wash. For all the friends That I let down When they all went west. For I was just a man. Racked with doubt. Did i do my best?
I cant hear the beat of drums, But the silence always hums From the graveyard full of tombs. Where the patient dead lie Awaiting resurrection, why? The countless hopes that always die,. But the loop plays on, Long after the parties gone, And way beyond. You got the questions, I got the lies. Tell me what you know, How do feelings grow? Now give me a show Of the mundanity, The banality, The whispering finality. So soft, words barely spoken. Now memories are brocken. And my heart has awoken. You ask the questions, I tell the lies.
Smooth, smooth, just like James Bond. Maybe I am a wizard with a magic wand? I can grant you a wish, or maybe two. When I fall in love, then it’s all about you. You stole my heart, but I don’t want it back. Keep it forever coz you’re my pussycat. I am on my best behaviour as you're worthy of that. Ooohh, babe, not what I seem. Give me a chance, could be the man of your dreams. If you want phantasy you gotta try me. Step into my world, you can be my girl. Don’t want you to go, stay and see, Now gimme a twirl, And you can be the very pearl I been looking for.
Listen up, word up hear the call Not a day goes by How and why We ever happened at all You are never on your own Always on the telephone Young men by my pool Tennis coach and fitness trainer There is nothing plainer Drinking all my booze Ten pairs of jimmy choos Armani and Fendi clothes All purchased at Bon Marché Made you happy for a day Accused of intellectual arrogance I don’t get the rhetoric I want to lose the epithet Or I may lose my balance Yes, I was smart Had to be How else would I survive. But you still don’t get it It didn’t fall like Mana from heaven There were no lies I was always present You never worked a day Since you met me Said you couldn’t compete Well, do something else Meeting guys on writing courses Were these the only choices So, died my hair went underground Somewhere I, could not be found Never made a sound That’s how it was for me Bohemian insanity Led me to follow Another's arms and neck And to the sacred hollow What the heck She was not for me Yes, I wasted time If that’s a crime I’ll come quietly
I wanted to hate her, but I couldn’t. Showed me something that I shouldn’t. I would not witness again, so I wouldn’t. I don’t tell lies to my dying day, So I walked away, And so I pray. Only thing I say, In my defence, There was no recompense, My love for her was spent. She came as a young man’s dreams, A kinda love, So it seems, Took me. Asked her number, Didn’t give it. Her husband home soon, So no room for me. Draft a different persona, So, I went casually, A visit to the docs. Took an STD, Said I was clean, But I wasn’t.
Development arrested, But tested, To the limit. I could never be a man, Just a child, Inside. Some women thought me handsome, But the ransom, Once paid, Always brought rejection. Overlaid, With fear, Self doubt. My heart is open, Tell me what you see, A man or child?, Or the monstrosity, I became, To be?
You don’t get confused, By the body of Christ, And so I rise. Three days, Just to look at you, I don’t want to lose. I choose my moment, So specifically, I don’t judge. Romance, I will not comment.
No idea where I take this don’t want to share. Mental illness, Is not a disease, But please me, Don’t walk away, From me Sometimes I think stoically, You can burn the past. It won't last. Will always bite you in the ass. Memories forgiven, Driven by, What you think you did. You did nothing.
Listen well in quiet rooms, There maybe something there. Speak soft amidst the noise of crowds, And your voice will be heard. Act when others do not dare, They are full of doubt and fear. Be generous when you have no more, And others do not care. Be free with love, And do not seek reward. Ask for less than you deserved, All of this will show The strength and quality, Of your own, Humanity.
New year’s eve, Brazilian style. Nephews, nieces, For a while. If this don’t make, You smile, You’re not a child, Inside. I know you are. You want to share, But you’re going spare, Inside. They fill the room. Different faces, Foreign language. You are just the groom, But you get it. That’s the way you are. You don’t have enough, To pay, For the happiness, You feel today. Will it last? The past is dead and buried, Shredded, cast aside. You have no pride? I believe you do. There is no telling, Of what you do, Next. I am spelling, It out for you. Now, move along, There is a queue.
Bang bang you shot me down. I don’t believe in anything. You say no more. Feels strange, That you tell lies. Fly blown, Just the kind, I despise, I am not your clown. I can love, Or frighten you, The choice, Belongs to you. Don’t meditate too long, Lest I will be gone
I know you love him, No picture, Just a frame, And the shame, You feel closely, Will pass away. A man can do so much, But he cannot grasp, When his reach falls short. He is dying, But once he touched, And the world flew by.
Strung out on heaven's light. I'll be good tonight. The strangers came today, To take me away. A nuisance to society They said. Don't believe it; Every kiss I gave Was meant for you.
Going no where, What’s the trouble? Think you can double On debts? You gambled too heavy, Spare the grievance, Look at the achievements. It’s not a mystery, But there is History here. Big boys don’t cry; They fucking do, I am testament To that. A day does not go by When memory Pours in. Horrifically; Not a place of choosing, But using technique I can be a guy.
Come in sir, a suit you want? Gotta measure you first. Gotta measure your thighs. Which way do you dress? Where my balls hang best. Not given to frippery, But that was just a jest. The tailor smiled. I see sir. Showed him many cloths. But one struck him, It was purple. I will take that. But sir that is an outrageous colour, I could not recommend. It's my choice, Not yours. I pay up front; Say you met the joker.