I went outside And cried. His imperious look Took me off my stride. What are you doing here? Nothing, I promise. You compromise yourself At every move. This is my night Remove your person Unless you would kill with me? I am not certain You can.
I watched the river closely. While it always followed the same path On its way to meet the sea, You could never say it was the same river You looked at only moments ago. The water had moved on and There was always a random pattern To its surface as it passed by the bank and over the rocks. Nothing repeated, all was change. Each second another event, A constant state of flux. Looking on, I suddenly felt heavy And inert and I told myself I must learn from the river and flow. Thoughts meandered through my head Like cigarette smoke caught in sunlight, Insubstantial and lost to the air. The river was calling. I rose up and began to wade into the water. The current was strong and I felt the power As it carried me off my feet, And so I floated, cradled by its might And I heard a voice saying “come with me, I have something show you”. The voice was not mine, The thoughts were not mine For I had left thinking on the river bank. All things in this world talk, But one must listen carefully as some only whisper. I was not curious about the promised revelation the river had made. I trusted implicitly and replied “so it must be”. Presently the river took me by a dense forest. One tree stood out, some of its roots Exposed by the very action of the flowing river, Undermining its grasp of the world. The wind caused its leaves to flutter And I heard it whisper and I found myself standing before it. It was massive and ancient and I felt humbled. “Get up off your knees, your piety does not cut it with me” The tree said angrily, then added, Quite gently “how can I help you?” “I am looking for something tree” “Well, aren’t we all? Not bad, a legitimate enquiry, But it has dangers”. He fell silent. The wind gathered up and he spoke again. “ The river comes to a fork, It is very important you listen carefully now. One way leads to oblivion, the other, Peace and happiness. The big…
I saw him in a tree. His sinew tail hung down. I looked at him, And he at me. His eyes so black, Teeth dripping with blood. Sorry, I have just eaten. What fare? If you must know A knight over there. How did he die? I don’t really care This is all wrong! Just the song of life, You look for complex answers To simple questions. I can feed on a corpse. Well good for you. No, child stew on this.
I am a rat, treated as vermin No ermine coat here. Speak with the cat He is pleasurable And pleasure seeking. But I tell you this He can kill. Not for any reward, Just coz he can. He walked by, I gave a sigh of relief. You are beautiful He said, I know. Is the arrogance misplaced, Stroke me, see for yourself. That’s wonderful, The fur you have is most enticing, Your eyes, so large and engaging. Did you see my claws? No I said I keep them hidden Unless, of course, you threaten. Why would I do that? He laughed, You would be surprised, Talk to the woman, She can tell you more. I gave the cat one last stroke Said I loved him. He replied, I know. I could not believe the arrogance of the bloke. I went in search for her. She appeared Under mysterious moonlight; Her obvious beauty could stop the heart of any man, Not mine. She wore all white, Defining every contour, Her hair was rich and dark. I just wanted to touch. Steady boy, you expect too much, But I thought You thought wrong! I am not here for your pleasure. The measure of man Is in his soul and kindness to all creatures Until you show me that Keep it in your pants!
I met you in a bar, I think it was Hanks. We went over the road And after several drinks In a club called Stallones We snogged on the stairs. The girl I was with was rightly cross I felt no loss. The taste remained. Instinct took over And over again. It left no stain Love leaves nothing behind. Sorry about that, but love strikes like lightening. Are you frightened by that? It means loss of control. I struggle to deal. Do you have no role? How should I play it? Lets see it unfold The play is not told, But the reveal Will leave you cold.
Love fell through my hands like desert sands. I looked for guidance, There was none. Then good riddance, Desperate child. The sun came out, Warmed and kissed my face. What is the matter? Would you shatter my illusions of place? That happened years ago. Look at you, Look at you now! I ain't broken, I bow to no man, Yet you are on your knees Think about that.
How to begin this? I know, he is not taking the piss, He wants a conclusion To the confusion In his head. Shake hands with me; The cold diffusion Of his grip Stripped me. I saw his face; No trace of emotion. I want no commotion. Believe me there will be some, Come with me And by the way Happy birthday.
Then there is a finality, a time to watch what happens Next. How did this play out? You have no clout Yet you are vexed Because you loved Too much. As a dove Struck by an eagle Seeking nest Forfeits its young; All is prey Don’t stay in one place Lest the chase Confines you. Bust out Unless a coffin Demands you to rest. You can bury me alive, I will come at you Through the soil and dirt. This my attitude I love you X. So how much pain I am in is inconsequential. The rage of the man doth make my pale face wan. Do you not believe him!? Not really, he is a bit of an arse.
I miss you most when evening falls And the night closes in, Darkness calls. It is the voice of the lonely And darker thoughts begin. I look for meaning And find only You. I look around my room. You made my life real. I feel I could walk through the walls; I could be anywhere, any time So insubstantial seems my world. “How long doctor?” ”Perhaps two years.” “What about a transplant?” “Unlikely with your record.” Friends and family are kind and loving But only I know the cost Of what I lost. You.
Dreams come unbidden. Hidden and unguarded thoughts Taught with expectation. Revelation of the inner soul? Perhaps. I rode my horse hard, back to the house, Bringing forth snorts of protest from the beast. My anger at that infernal woman beat heavy in my breast. I would have it out with her once and for all and bugger the outcome. The sarcastic smile, the withering look that cut like a rapier. The stony silence when spoken to I would have no more of. I had come to hate what once I cherished so, so dearly. I flew through the gates, dismounted, Handing the animal over to the stable lad. He looked a little nervous. I paid him no heed. I stormed up to the front doors to be met By a panicked footman. “What’s the matter man?” “Sir, sir take great care” he was almost in tears. “The lady has armed herself and Has told the servants she means to kill you” he blubbered. “Armed with what?” I asked “y..y…, your duelling pistols sir” he stammered in his frenzy. I began to regret the night I showed her how to load them. We had played a game pretending to be highway men, Chasing each other round the house in eye masks and tricorn hats. The winner was the one able to sneak up And press the muzzle against the others back without detection. She, being so light on her feet, pressed home her advantage, Winning to her obvious delight. I revealed the secrets Of the firearm to her and later she revealed her secrets to me. Happier days. That it should come to this. I held the cowering footman by the shoulders. “Has the lady practised her aim, if so where?” This was too much for him, I thought he would collapse He pointed towards the front door with a trembling hand. I found this hard to believe. “What! In the house, had she gone mad?” I was reeling with confusion and anger. Somehow, I gathered my senses And shaking the man I asked, “how many shots did you hear?” He fumbled with his fingers, showing me first ten followed by…
I loved you like no other can, But I am not a man. I have a dick to prove it, That was just a scam. When you fall from grace That is his taste In humour. So I live as I am; Tortured by what might have been. Can I come clean? There is no place for pity, This seems too obscene. My life is shitty, But you know what I mean.
A stupid question, It has no solution, Then what of feelings? They are ten a penny. All the buggers on earth have many. Look, look. What do you see? I see the awfulness of humanity. Does it have to be this way? I come in, is it such a sin? Sup with the devil, Take a long spoon. I think you are acting Like a fool. There is not much room in here. My previous question left unanswered. I cannot say, You ask too much. Her cold touch Told me to delay; But her grip Was firm and sure. Perhaps there was a cure For all the insanity.
When strange People go out Of your range You cannot grow to know them Or show them. This is not the stage; Real life is for living, They don’t go off the page. What are you reading now? I think this is a better gauge.
Match this. One kiss from you Brought me to a temper. I don’t remember Ever feeling this way. Loss of control, My soul taken. I did not want to fall in love, So many hearts broken, Or stolen. But you were not a thief, I treasure you. Took pleasure In the time we had But deeply, deeply sad That this is over too. Your loveliness Compounds the state I am in.
Blue eyes hold ice But they have a hidden soul. Did I get this wrong Or are you just being nice? I confess they were attractive, Or is this just a song? I was sucked in, I didn’t have a role, A bit part in a play; Living in my own hole Of self regret. "But, but," I say this twice With a look You could slay Any man You want to get. Quiet lady, I am not finished yet. I have loved and lost, The cost I have no idea to this day But the fact that I could do it Leaves me temperamental. I ain't going mental, I was always gentle With women this way. I hurt no one But I am not sentimental Unless I get committed. This Is no time to take the piss.
Once a lover, But that doesn’t Cover The time We spent. I lent myself to you And you to me, The mother of my child, Our child. Sorry I hate to be possessive, It may seem quite aggressive But really I am just mild.
I think I fell in love The first time I met you. Something sublime, A timeless, ancient beauty too; But the cleverness Of mind Cut me through and through. I liked it Spiked, Or was this a digression? Perhaps it may be true, You have quick wits But I promise, I do too.
I never asked anyone For anything, This was all my own doing, And now it's done; But the bells of time ring From the local church, Starched monuments of stone. Look down, There is no feeling Just odd numbness, Where did I go wrong? I kissed many And fucked a few But I think I belong To you.
I saw it in your eyes, There may be pain involved And sure enough there was. But what is pain to love? I went to work the next day, Made excuses for the black eye And calling you said sorry. That was enough for me; I was beaten by girls Many times before, Left bleeding on the floor Never raising a hand, but I respect them more and more.
Did you study Or were you taught? The difference is One comes from you, The other received. The margin for error is small; Don’t be deceived. It is as tall As a man in his grave. You will make mistakes Don’t be afraid, All you want can be achieved.
I can tell you stories Of cabbages and kings, But the things I really know Can seriously sting. I will not say it now But it brings Something to mind; Love can leave You behind. I know that feeling And sealing The temptation, The contemplation Will not save. No crime committed, Just omitted From public gaze. Who cares? I do, I know what went on, Take it to my grave