The River

I watched the river closely. While it always followed the same path On its way to meet the sea, You could never say it was the same river You looked at only moments ago. The water had moved on and There was always a random pattern To its surface as it passed by the bank and over the rocks. Nothing repeated, all was change. Each second another event, A constant state of flux. Looking on, I suddenly felt heavy And inert and I told myself I must learn from the river and flow. Thoughts meandered through my head Like cigarette smoke caught in sunlight, Insubstantial and lost to the air. The river was calling. I rose up and began to wade into the water. The current was strong and I felt the power As it carried me off my feet, And so I floated, cradled by its might And I heard a voice saying “come with me, I have something show you”. The voice was not mine, The thoughts were not mine For I had left thinking on the river bank. All things in this world talk, But one must listen carefully as some only whisper. I was not curious about the promised revelation the river had made. I trusted implicitly and replied “so it must be”. Presently the river took me by a dense forest. One tree stood out, some of its roots Exposed by the very action of the flowing river, Undermining its grasp of the world. The wind caused its leaves to flutter And I heard it whisper and I found myself standing before it. It was massive and ancient and I felt humbled. “Get up off your knees, your piety does not cut it with me” The tree said angrily, then added, Quite gently “how can I help you?” “I am looking for something tree” “Well, aren’t we all? Not bad, a legitimate enquiry, But it has dangers”. He fell silent. The wind gathered up and he spoke again. “ The river comes to a fork, It is very important you listen carefully now. One way leads to oblivion, the other, Peace and happiness. The big…

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The Meeting

I met you in a bar, I think it was Hanks. We went over the road And after several drinks In a club called Stallones We snogged on the stairs. The girl I was with was rightly cross I felt no loss. The taste remained. Instinct took over And over again. It left no stain Love leaves nothing behind.   Sorry about that, but love strikes like lightening. Are you frightened by that? It means loss of control. I struggle to deal. Do you have no role? How should I play it? Lets see it unfold The play is not told, But the reveal Will leave you cold.

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Lawyers, the Statement

Then there is a finality, a time to watch what happens Next. How did this play out? You have no clout Yet you are vexed Because you loved Too much. As a dove Struck by an eagle Seeking nest Forfeits its young; All is prey Don’t stay in one place Lest the chase Confines you. Bust out Unless a coffin Demands you to rest. You can bury me alive, I will come at you Through the soil and dirt. This my attitude I love you X. So how much pain I am in is inconsequential. The rage of the man doth make my pale face wan. Do you not believe him!? Not really, he is a bit of an arse.

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The Reality

I miss you most when evening falls And the night closes in, Darkness calls. It is the voice of the lonely And darker thoughts begin. I look for meaning And find only You. I look around my room. You made my life real. I feel I could walk through the walls; I could be anywhere, any time So insubstantial seems my world. “How long doctor?” ”Perhaps two years.” “What about a transplant?” “Unlikely with your record.” Friends and family are kind and loving But only I know the cost Of what I lost. You.

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Blood Fuelled Passion

Dreams come unbidden. Hidden and unguarded thoughts Taught with expectation. Revelation of the inner soul? Perhaps. I rode my horse hard, back to the house, Bringing forth snorts of protest from the beast. My anger at that infernal woman beat heavy in my breast. I would have it out with her once and for all and bugger the outcome. The sarcastic smile, the withering look that cut like a rapier. The stony silence when spoken to I would have no more of. I had come to hate what once I cherished so, so dearly. I flew through the gates, dismounted, Handing the animal over to the stable lad. He looked a little nervous. I paid him no heed. I stormed up to the front doors to be met By a panicked footman. “What’s the matter man?” “Sir, sir take great care” he was almost in tears. “The lady has armed herself and Has told the servants she means to kill you” he blubbered. “Armed with what?” I asked “y..y…, your duelling pistols sir” he stammered in his frenzy. I began to regret the night I showed her how to load them. We had played a game pretending to be highway men, Chasing each other round the house in eye masks and tricorn hats. The winner was the one able to sneak up And press the muzzle against the others back without detection. She, being so light on her feet, pressed home her advantage, Winning to her obvious delight. I revealed the secrets Of the firearm to her and later she revealed her secrets to me. Happier days. That it should come to this. I held the cowering footman by the shoulders. “Has the lady practised her aim, if so where?” This was too much for him, I thought he would collapse He pointed towards the front door with a trembling hand. I found this hard to believe. “What! In the house, had she gone mad?” I was reeling with confusion and anger. Somehow, I gathered my senses And shaking the man I asked, “how many shots did you hear?” He fumbled with his fingers, showing me first ten followed by…

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The Wasted Fruit

It is oft said knowledge is power. Then why was I so weak? To speak to me you would not guess The mess I am in. “To hell with you all” I shout, but I am spent, A force no longer But I grow stronger At least in head. My mind was heaven sent, It cannot be wasted. I tasted the fruits of life, They were bitter To my tongue. Perhaps I do not belong To this world or another.

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Infinity Path

I hate myself. The contempt I feel seems so unreal; The pathways in my head Lead nowhere. Perhaps I was unaware, Side swiped by confusion, The delusion Is dead. I want, I want so much But greed leaves me empty. I know, I know I can crow about wealth, But your stealth Took my soul. I do not regret Nor will I forget. I do not hate, No malice lives therein. Can I begin? Is it such a sin To be doleful.

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The Mind

My head plays tricks. I get my kicks From alcohol And dope. But I just hope There is no rope Waiting at the end. I surely need a friend, But I was round the bend. I say this in all candour, But the rancour I received Left me aggrieved. As Wilde said “reveal yourself to the world, and it will reveal itself to you” No truer word spoken. A mere token As I stand here.

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Him Again

I was wakeful, Took out fags And a bottle of wine. The sun wouldn’t shine. But if time lags I didn’t care, I had to meet his stare. I knew he was coming, I think I just should have kept on running, But I didn’t dare; The devil after me His eyes blazed with glee. I found you at last, Look, that’s all in the past But you have no future see.

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Dave

My first friend At a new school, I didn’t know the rule, But I was willing to bend. He was crippled from birth; Polio was rife. He was the only kid Who would give me no grief. Did I fall in love? He had a handsome face, His shoulders broad and muscular. One day I saw him caught By Elliot, A cheeky little prick, But he ought to know The strength of the lad. I felt quite sick. "Don’t do it Dave!" As he grabbed him by the throat. He looked at me and winked; Let him fall Against the wall. Dave walked by, His calliper squeaked Then turned to me and said: "Will you always back me up?" "Sure, you are my friend" but my voice was weak, I could not find the words to say Friendship and love Friendship and love Thinner than a surgeon's glove. No one has explained to me this day. But when the kissing starts Friendship ends And the dove Flies far away.

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Beauty

Match this. One kiss from you Brought me to a temper. I don’t remember Ever feeling this way. Loss of control, My soul taken. I did not want to fall in love, So many hearts broken, Or stolen. But you were not a thief, I treasure you. Took pleasure In the time we had But deeply, deeply sad That this is over too. Your loveliness Compounds the state I am in.

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Delusions

Every body hurts, Every body cries. Some bleed, Denying tears That fall. They will not wipe away Accept, accept! Maybe tomorrow If you try. Defy the odds. There is a need in you Not managed by silk shirts Or ties. Fast cars, Large houses; You know that will not do. “leave me alone!” I said “I know what I have done” Do you, do you really? Do you really know? I can show you Take my hand.

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Leather

She wore leather like a leopard, Close fit, And nice tits too. I did not want to jeopardise My chances. She did not glance, Just looked. Not a stare Merely an appraisal, And once summed up I acquiesced. I did not care To ask her name Lest we be misunderstood And no good comes from that. I take the blame, But I am glad I came. Same results again Nothing special But not you.

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Remembrance

He went outside to get some air, Feet stuttering, The muttering Kept to himself. Please do not stare, Not that he would care But he remembers The fluttering Of birds And glorious Septembers Picking pears. In late summer blossom The gossamer Of spiders webs Brushed aside. They laid together He remembers her; Will she remember him? No man doubts The veracity of good intention But some truths Are too close to mention.

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