Past & Future

Ancient Guilt

What did you want? What more, what did you expect? Fine sentiments, friendship, even love All purchased. Not from generosity But ancient guilt Of what? You have no reason to stay, Yet still the clay Of you is damp. An unfinished work, Who the artist is Irrelevant. Remember “He who the gods would destroy, They first make mad”. You knew that as a lad No Perseus I see, But you were bold. A capacity to entertain I love the way you lie, Trying to make sense Of the world. What and who you loved And what you hated. We laughed and traded stories of you Mere experiment.  

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This Way

Don’t now don’t leave me this way. I can't resist your tender kiss And it touches my heart. I can never love another And that is that; But I loved you. Maybe not fully expressed, But I did. Don’t you know little fool You never can win? Face the reality, Step up, wise up to reality. But each time I had can't improve Nothing would ever move, So I am screwed. That’s just what I said. I, I can remember Climbing up walls, But vaults of time Not so refined I bend the rules. Do they offer justice? I think not, look, Try to redefine me. But each time I think Just the thought of you Makes me stop. Before I begin Coz' I've got you under my skin.

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A thought

I tremble with The fact I almost caught You unawares; But the stares I receive I want to believe, But I cannot achieve What I set out to do. The glue Of my life Falls apart too easy. The crazy way I live I can't forgive. You were and are Precious to me, And I don’t see Any way out. I am not looking for a saviour; My behaviour Clouds that out. Rank poison in my veins Strains my heart. But if I could start again I would.

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Final Epilogue

What I am about to say Will leave your eyes agog. I have to go away. Death comes easy to me, But living is hard. The shards of ice May pierce my heart, But I can't betray The feelings I have, But I am quite sure you will tell me How should I feel today, So let's have no delay That cannot be explained. So I took a downgrade When I met the end; Grained visions of life Passed before me. I spare you the conclusion, Just my confusion, Just another fuck up kid Rushing the embarrassment Of change. Planet earth which Don’t reverse. How much starch. Don’t blame The poor cunt He was heading in the same way. He failed you at thought He should never Save. No you live, Never kept He was heading To keeping gold to deep golden brown.    

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The Whole World

Every vow I take Every bone I break I can't shake you off. My love endures, There are no cures For the way I feel. I steal moments And memories. They come With such clarity; But part of me Wishes to forget, But that’s not an option. A frozen life Often misunderstood. I would that it were different. I hate the fact you left, But more, I can't get over you. I am not ashamed, My feelings are declaimed. The whole world looks on.

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Loving you

It's like the sun went out. I am in perpetual night; The slightest touch of you Thrills my heart. Where do I start? I have no skill at lying, Maybe but I can't. Love goes deep with me, The transparency Of what we had I can't forget. You knew me And I knew you. The value Of that relation Is not complicated; You have your life to lead And so I wasn’t good enough. I do not offer an explanation, But it is true. You never mean't to hurt me But the pain I feel inside I cannot confide. I knew I was right That night in the restaurant, On our first date. It thrills me live with me But you are too clever To fall for my pride.

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Lies

I , I never lied to you But the brew is stirred. What can I do? I lost control again But I tried, Never lied. Too precious And lovely to my eyes. I can't despise A man That took you from my side. You may deride The responsibility I keep Hidden inside, But pride Set me apart. I can't start to tell The pain I went through, But I loved you. The price I pay Would destroy A lesser man. With the dances and drink Leaves nothing to think; I blink it out But I don’t shout about it.

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Missing

The ships in the harbour All went away, Left me here; Took the cargo I hold precious, The cargo I hold dear And I grow reckless. Love a twin edged sword Of excitement and fear. The blade cuts deep and clear. Did you ever feel like this? A problem That one kiss Could solve Never resolved. Am I missing Something here? Please tell me if I am, It's not just a sham I won't believe. I think that I can Do this. I try And I try I try and try. I always miss.

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Read more about the article Epic Formulaic

Epic Formulaic

- Epic 1 - New story, Same beginning. I know how this ends. Our hero, Melancholic, Deep on morals; How tragic he looks. He has no friends. Always on the move Definition of a loner. Short on words. Long on looks. Conversation through the eyes. But there’s a flaw. What does he hide? We try to guess. The love interest Sees him in a bar Reading a book. “Haven’t seen you here before” He shrugs. “Staying long?” He looks her up and down Without a care. Sees the wedding band. “Oh this. We are finished” she frowns. “Sure" his voice impassive. “I am not hitting on you.” “Never said you were.” His eyes more defensive. “ Do you smoke?” She nods. “Let's go outside. It is quieter. Cigarettes are so expensive Don’t you think? We can talk.”   - Epic 2 - “So what’s your story?” A traditional opening. “Do you want it ab initio?” “Abbey what?” “From the beginning, it's Latin.” “Let’s start there” “It would take too long.” “What’s your name, More importantly what is your game?" “My name is Gabriel.” “Like the angel?” “Yes” She smoked her cigarette To the quick. “I am no angel but things happen around me. I can't explain or forget but……” “But what?” “I am staying at the Elise, join me if you wish.” “Oh wow, only million….” Her words died away. Looking at his garb. He saw that. “You are one big secret, aren’t you?” “Let's go to the car.” It was a Rolls Royce, the driver waiting “The Elise sir?” “Yes Majors.” “Very good sir” looking through his rear view mirror. The meaning was ambiguous. Soon they arrived. “Hope you like it, I own it.”   - Epic 3 - “What “ “The “ “Fuck” Her world went dark. She had hit on him, Yet it was her Slammed out of the park. “I feel sick, need to go home.” “Majors, take her back. Let me give you my card. Please call.” Said more with eyes Than voice. As they drove away She beat the Camargue leather Like she had no choice. “Who does he think he is? Why does…

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White Marble

The virginal white marble Still leaves impressions on my face. I can’t retrace the past, It’s gone. What a waste I was. But the connection endures And floors me To the ground. You know that already; Stay steady and recoup My own sensory addiction. I will not improve The groove I am in. Don’t begin To tell the lie, The lie of  me. Been a liar all my life. Pretending when I shouldn’t. Made cash from chaos But I still believe In you.

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Queen

You are the queen of me, But I am surely no king. So many lacking Bring me to my knees. I look at you And I guess; The deprivation Is true. Taught me a lot, Most of which I forgot. You know I love you, I can’t abstain. I would fight or die for you, That is my right. Transcendent creature that you are, But you are far away. I have no complaints. But I am chained, bound. The sound of these shackles Cuts my heart.

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I Didn’t Get Off on This

I don’t get off on this. My promise to you Full of platitudes. Not being rude In any way, shape or form, But a storm is coming; I can smell it. And I walk the streets Of Oxford Bored out of my mind. Not blind To possibility, Love gives you that, But catch 22. Can I tell the truth? I can't lie no more. If you have memories Stored Reflect on them. And if you respect them Just give me a clue And I can show you What I can do.

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Never Let It Be Said

Never let it be said That romance is dead. For there’s so little else Going on in my head. I wake up each day, Try to wish it away And I bide my time. So I climb the walls instead. What you said hurts And the buttons are pressed. Please don’t do this to me. I know I failed But that ship has sailed Long ago. Undeserving wretch that I am I am still a man.

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Excuse

Do you remember when We loved each other? I won't bother with that again Lovers take from each other. But you left me falling apart. I will start again. Yes I will And I can. I have no hatred, But the sentiment Still remains. Maybe I have to pretend. I loved you like no other could. I don’t care what he says, He preys on the soul. You are better than that.

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Currents

You hurt But I don’t cry No more. Tears ran dry Long time ago. But I worry For my heart. I want to explain; And I try And I try. Sort of constant refrain. Find it hard to let go; Perhaps I never will. We climbed the precipice Of love And I took the pain In a fall from grace. Currents of time Can't wash away How I feel today, As I remember Every thing.

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The Cross

Looking for a face that looks familiar, Or something similar. For a life that just escapes you, No, no. The lies told in you name traduce, It’s just abuse. Try to bring me down, But the crown of thorns set there. I bleed to my chair. That’s just the cross I bare. So I don’t care What they say anymore. You have gone away. Left me standing here. So people stare As the blood tears roll down my face. You call me a disgrace. But I am not. Have you forgot, What I did for you?

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