I thought of you on battle fields I fought on. No harm can come to you. The people I shield I can’t begin to tell. If anyone raise a hand to you. Promise I slay them too. My daughter and my woman, Two queens of my heart. And when I am gone They will start again. But the war goes on.
So I bust a gut Trying to rhyme. Just give me some time I will think of something That will blow your mind. Sooner or later The world will catch up with you, The mayhem I left behind. Washed my hands; I was clean again. Not really, Not really. I owe you this much My only child. But the love I feel Could burst through my chest, And I must confess A tear rolls down When I think of you.
I want to take you home, Keep you safe From the nonsense out there. I can’t bare The thought you are unhappy. Slap my face If I am impertinent; I live in my head. No shed, with porno mags. Yet I remain reticent. What must I do To prove my love For you? Maybe I am deranged And certainly Estranged from most; But you wove A spell I can't break. Take this as you will, I can't lie no more. Especially to me. Just want you to know.
Am I the body of Christ? The resurrection, The way, the truth And the life. He that believes in me Will never die. Horse shit. Gave that up Long time ago, But still go back to it Like an addict. I once wanted to be a priest I know, sounds crazy; But the laziness of thought. Besides there was no money in it. A man cannot serve god and mammon Both; So I chose. Whether it was right or wrong I really don’t know. So the book lies closed. Messianic qualities live within me And it shows. I can't save this tortured world, Wish I could. I only have my love to give Can you forgive?
So don’t explain it, I can’t try. But I love the way you hurt, And I love the way you lie. A confused mind, One of a kind. The mold is broken. Saying a token To over reach. Yet I preach to the converted. Now I am dry The words wont come To me. I fantasize, but not reality. My patience thin And that is boring To me. Yes it is I just need a kiss. Would you can you Give me this last absolution?
He loved it, Saw an unexpected beauty in it. You had to look closely, Difficult to define. He had a job to do And he loved it. It was death or victory For him. I thought he had a screw loose, But when you fought, When the chances were slim, He always, always had a plan. Looked after his men Like the children he never had.
Did you ever love so much You just want to die? In the special moments of ecstasy. Now they only make you cry, And all the time You wonder why. But you can't make it better, No matter how you try. No kiss and makeup, And no more lies. So you take up A different life. Do it for the sake Of your sanity. Show your humanity. But don’t fuck up again!
Her touch indescribable. The scrambled bible in his mind. Was he dealing with an angel? Surely, surely. What else could she be? He gave what he could, Only his love. Prayed it would satisfy, But never sure. Remember, don’t forget, You’re a man. You desire And it’s pure. You never felt this way before? So what if it tears you apart. But what a start!
Kiss me one more time Before I get onto that plane. But through the pain of separation An enduring smile remains. The smile remains. I hold you one more time. Your soft lips touch mine. Our heated breath turns me on so, But I must go. I must go. Now i sit alone and think of you, All the things that we could do. And all the clocks go slow Till i see you again. See you again.
I searched for such a long time. Was the hope of love fading Like the closing of the day? Or had it just begun, A fire that cannot die. I had been in love before, But never like this. One rapturous kiss Immediate connection. We had never met. And without explanation. All my thinking Meant nothing In the moments we shared. The tingle down my spine So much, so much I wanted her to be mine.
I took refuge In your heart. From a world That sometimes didn’t get me Or simply couldn’t see What I was all about. No matter how I shouted, I was never heard, So I didn’t speak a word, But now I have a voice. This was all my choice And I came back Full knowing what I lack. Trying to do better. What it took, no matter. I don’t take this for granted. Hard fought, but what I wanted. The life I left behind Now memory But has a haunting melody. A sirens call cross oceans vast, So I am now tied to the mast.
A half light. Neither morning or night Fills my room. Thoughts come unbidden And ideas hidden In the recess of my mind. Now free, They wander, Wraith like. Ephemeral, formless Often incoherent. But sometimes, sometimes They stick, take shape And remain. They drag me from my bed Once again To the page.
Even when I got sober I knew it was over. You didn’t have to go Behind my back. I would have understood. I wondered how you could, But that’s enough of that. Your not coming back, That’s just a fact. I wear it like a shirt I once had. So I bought new clothes, Getting ready to move on. Leave the past a memory Of what we once had, But now its all gone. You say your guys amazing, He aint crazy like me, If you just wanted normality I guess you got it. Our love was now broken, Just like the token promise I would never use again, But you think I will. So I walk and walk And the sun beats down. The air shimmers before me And all sound fades away, While the street closes in And I try to begin. Words drip from my pen Like the blood ink within, But where do they end?
I cant hear the beat of drums, But the silence always hums From the graveyard full of tombs. Where the patient dead lie Awaiting resurrection, why? The countless hopes that always die,. But the loop plays on, Long after the parties gone, And way beyond. You got the questions, I got the lies. Tell me what you know, How do feelings grow? Now give me a show Of the mundanity, The banality, The whispering finality. So soft, words barely spoken. Now memories are brocken. And my heart has awoken. You ask the questions, I tell the lies.
She was more than lips and eyes, A certain sadness perhaps I could repair, But our exchange on the stair Told of something else. She didn’t need me. Yes, she had a comic book beauty. To want a woman so much Hurts the guts. She sticks in the mind, Draws you in, You’re not sure Where it begins. Looking for a reason, But you don’t know why, She had you down to a”T”. You think you’re smart, But you just know more tricks than me. What a prick you were, And I can be objective, Irrespective of consequence. She loved you! What was wrong with you? Where you waiting for something else? You barely knew yourself? But now you know, A seed planted Will always grow.
Is this an olive branch I see, Or some barbed stick to beat me? Not seeking an apology that once, You gave so freely. The viciousness of your attack, Would break the back of lesser men, But I am made of more. The crown for hurting, And the OBE, Well won, Fair play, But they are yours. Perhaps they open doors, But not mine anymore. I think you’re better than that. Maybe not. Maybe I was wrong all along, But I do know you once shone. Take care with that knife you got. The sharpest steel Draws most blood. You cut me deep. I guess I healed.
Magnify, sanctify, Hallowed be thy name. Did you stand beside me, As I looked for fame? No one held my hand, So I am just the same. I came asking, Now I take the shame. You came looking for me, But you have no claim. So many moons have gone. I see them wax and wane, But truth, truth, Not hard to explain. My duty to memory, Always remains.
You’re the first the last, The alpha and omega. Keep looking for the contrast, But, I see you, So I don’t think, Blink it away. Found someone else ok?, But you happen to stay, In my heart. What the fuck! No, no, don’t get me started, You wouldn’t like it any way. Speedy misconjunction rises. Like the tears of a lion.
Sordid details won't go away. Try to kill them, But they stay. You can't run and hide, They hunt you down. You never lied. I know you tried. Now its all gone. What of his poor son? I will not get derailed By this again. Enough, now it's done.
Development arrested, But tested, To the limit. I could never be a man, Just a child, Inside. Some women thought me handsome, But the ransom, Once paid, Always brought rejection. Overlaid, With fear, Self doubt. My heart is open, Tell me what you see, A man or child?, Or the monstrosity, I became, To be?
Going down, Feeling it’s the beat. Going underground, Where I don’t make a sound. So many memories, In the lost and found. I can be discreet. What, Did I say? Repeat. Just said I loved you, On the street, But there is no witness, To the kiss.