Going no where, What’s the trouble? Think you can double On debts? You gambled too heavy, Spare the grievance, Look at the achievements. It’s not a mystery, But there is History here. Big boys don’t cry; They fucking do, I am testament To that. A day does not go by When memory Pours in. Horrifically; Not a place of choosing, But using technique I can be a guy.
I do not believe in god, But I believe in you. Do you believe in me? Something of a reprobate. Closest to Christ You will ever see Are all I have to offer. When angels fall They fall far. No relief, If there ever could. You are walking with me; Feet don’t touch the ground. The nails are waiting. I can’t hear a sound. But the cross is there Bare wood, leather bound. Now I have found My destiny. I love you.
Let’s take a drive; See what’s mine. You have nothing. Committing no crime, But you blue it away. That was yesterday; Tomorrow you will be fine. You loved, but hurt several times. That is the curse That is humanity.
He talked like a man, But thought like a saint. Looked for contrition, But still no admission. What had he done? He walked down the streets; People looked at him funny. He didn’t care He had the money. He was no man. I could paint a picture If I can. Illusive, obtuse Often delusional; He never thought that Was unusual. See people in shop doorways Late at night, Gave them money For their awful plight. And not being rude Would say 'Don’t waste it on food.' Did not have a plan. He was no man.
There is a stage In the address of man, Who could do better? But how he can. Immorality revoked, He must perform, Lest chokes In the air frame, Limit his scopes. But the torture And the rage Within him Threatens to explode. No threat to you Dear friend.
Nothing comes from nothing, But something did. Walked out, Taking early breaths; Then began to shout. His outraged screams Unwelcome in the crowd. They wanted joy and laughter, But that's not what it's about. Their roar wore a silence, But the violence within At core must speak out.
If you don’t want to laugh, Or cry You are missing Something. What jelly In your head Counts for a brain? Is he insane? Possibly. But he remains The same. Not seeking fame. More a notoriety; That’s the suit That fits him Entirely. Only a fool Would go here To bare his soul. Is he the joker in the pack? Possibly. There are hidden rules, The tools of exchange Spring back.
I will not go, Thrown To the winds; Not without Feeling forced. Perhaps divorced From a certain reality, but spins a story Of calamity. His vanity still sings. This is his choice. What bends or twists Allow this? What god watched on? I suggest a cruel one.
I can’t fake it; You can trace it to memories I chose to forget. Will never leave me The begotten one. I don’t live In regret. You bring purpose In the shine Of the smile, And gentle laughter That touches so deeply. But the joker, The card you don’t want to select For a father. A derelict in head. Once he loved, Then became creepy. But still you need me. Calm yourselves down.
In and out he goes; And throws a new reality. Where the woes go He does not know. Not given, but snatched From some uncertainty. So he rests. Did he get it off his chest? Oh no oh no. He is a very uncertain man, Has no plan. But wishes he did. Then he cracked, Like an egg into a frying pan From a fragile shell. He knows too well.
I love a precious woman, She can come when she please; I do not tease. My integrity is every thing I have to offer. I hope she takes it, Because guess what? I fell in love. The queen of angelic Behaviour Is more than a match For me.
Who knew the truth? Was a proof required? He wrote till he got tired. Doubting himself Every step of the way, Every night and day. Then he got wired So he could play. Had no say, But he was loved In a weird kind of way. Do not pass judgement Lest you pay the bill.
Took a woman for a date, But I arrived late, Apologising like a child. This was my fate. She said 'Don’t bother This place is great.' I took the menu; Let’s go wild, The most expensive Bottle of wine, That was fine. Then she became pensive; A matter of time I suppose. Are you for real? Just an idea you create Depending on your state of mind. I am the passenger.
What tares like a passion Can drift; can lift two people apart. Who good heart But not meant to be. I know you are over me But where does that Leave me? Apportioning no blame The shame is mine. But since we were wed I stayed calm. This was not easy, And the charms of life I gave were bled The same. No questions asked, No answer required. I see the birds have fled. Going to sunnier climbs Instead.
Your face Is everything I need. You are beautiful, And my creed Is honour. Respect and duty To the man next to me. Are you faithful To this memory?
How slim the line 'Twixt fame and failure. But if you don’t ask Could I do better, And blame the rest That would be a shame. And you claim nothing. And you remain In an endless spiral, Going nowhere. You bare the brunt And confess. Leave it for the bin men. The detritus Does not compromise Us. I am still the same; I get by But something Deep inside has hold Of my soul I cannot jeopardise.
You go on track, Trying to go faster, Competing narratives. Ask you Will you last here? No. Speeding away From controversy, No no no. Climatic changes In our lives Leaves us strangers To truth, So we tell lies. A truth we cannot bear. And so we look And stare. At what? Did I forget? You meant something Or was I dreaming? Possibly. But always scheming.
Half past midnight His day begins. His tread so quiet As he walks through the night. The darkness hides him. All he has to confide in. Goes to the 24 hour shop, Gets a bottle of wine. Maybe he will sleep tonight Without the dreams. The haunting discord Of his past Still screams. He goes home, Lies on the sofa Without a glass; Drinks from the bottle And hopefully will pass out. But because He never does.