Relic

I am a relic From a bygone age, I don’t need confrontation. Just a small town boy In a rage. Don’t lock me up, I will get out of any cage you put me in. Now shut up. I will give this tale a different spin. There is one offer On the table. What's true, What's not. I proffer some advice, Before you answer the question, Don’t lie. Mendacity hurts the giver Like drinking poison, Expecting the other to die. But I can see when you go too far, You forget who you are And invention turns cold. So I stole As I was out of ideas. I was not objective, Left me covered in tears. The degradation Becomes my reality. I guess I was lucky, I had a certain talent, And a work ethic that would not quit. I wish things were different Between you and me, But they are not, And I forgot to mention My point of reference, And supported by evidence. I have been with women before, But you are the one I adore, But it makes no difference anymore.

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One Nighter

I was breathing for the moment from a one night stand. I know what I did. I repeat, no comment, But life toys with us all, And the fall Of a man can be great. This feels like a confession But its just too late. Not looking to ingratiate, But I am dead weight. I am a victim, Of the monument I created. I want this for the record And was always told, Things would be ok for me, But they weren’t. Fingers burnt, But I cant leave the field. Come back with your shield or, on it.

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Stranger

Don’t score with girls no more Bit of a bore. I find life a chore. I could sleep with a whore, And get STDs. Instinct tells me If this doesn’t kill me, It will make me stronger, But I am a stranger To myself. I have a limited shelf life, My sell by date already passed. Mom took thalidomide. It helps with morning sickness. I wasn’t born defective. That was down to me, And I find myself Mixed with controversy. Good guy, bad guy. Quick shag or marry. I have a second skin, Maybe a dozen more. The difference is thin. My implosion, In slow motion, I see every day. I understand the agony, My mental state Can fluctuate, From joy To utter despair. I thought this was How every one felt, But I was dealt A card of chance. It had your image on it, So I looked for romance. Like a stray dog seeking a home And when it doesn’t happen You cry to your soul. My tears are private, Even alone. A scavenger of life, Like an hyena. I could not say it plainer, Still a stranger To my life.

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You

I look back At reality You may not like what you see A certain familiarity Waves over me I have seen this all before That’s the core Of my anxiety Repetitive Fantasy Some say Lock him away Throw away the key Don’t matter to me I wasn’t here in the first place Perfect alibi See, truth is solid gold to me I don’t leave a trace My shit can be crude I can be rude But I showed How I feel Didn’t borrow or steal Trying to make a deal Purely platonic No tectonic Shift required But I always admired Your comments are barbed That’s so fucking sexy Takes real ingenuity And fluidity of speech When people say you are tough They are not good enough Can't compete The bail queen struts her stuff

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Ten Bears

He walks with a swagger That’s something of a front Wears Savill Row suits But he feels like a c'nt There is a dagger in his pocket Which should not be there He could eat you for breakfast Without a care Quiet as a grave yard In the middle of the night You played with him once His last chance Blown away Went from hero To zero In your eyes Was waybegone But had the grit to carry on A white flag Tied to my gun Except peace A'int much fun to me I do whatever it takes To get things done My name is Ten Bears Only strength cares Survival walk free

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Look Who’s Back

Stevie's back Don’t take jack Sees the lights Of authority Waving at him. On his knees does it please You? I doubt it That would be sadistic; Not in your nature. Is there no cure? Don’t be a critic, Let's get specific. Rejected all my life, But I turned out terrific. You kissed me to bed at night, You reeked of cigarttes And cheap sherry. I bury the thoughts. Such a pity. You weren't bad, Essentially good, But you could Never Understand What I am about.

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Hope

You. You Gave me hope That what I saw was true; But that, That was pure fantasy. No melody But discord. And you know me. Just wanted to stay true To you I, I know you're with another. You. You’ve told me many times before I wish I didn’t care so much But somehow I do First love, Last love. Am I looking for crutch To buy Or will I get by?

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Gotta

Gotta write, Gotta write Or I did shite today. Have to say, Have to say That don’t sit easy with me. And I pray, And I pray For inspiration. It don’t come, It don’t come Am I just dumb? Doesn’t happen that way. Concentrate, Concentrate; Try to relate. I must ask, I must ask Were you born that way?

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Lost in Admiration

I am lost in admiration. My precision Is quite good. I can't touch you anymore, The boundaries created Leave me flat on the floor. But I get up again Or love is not true. I think it is; You give it, Take it, Some times even fake it. That leads to complications, Thwarted And aborted; Views of life contorted. Take love and passion aside Can you abide with what is left? a question for me I think.

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Inquisitive F****r

Tied to the mast He heard their call; Rapturous voices Beckoned him to fall. They cast a spell on him; “untie me, untie me” But they wouldn’t at all. Told not to By him. Are myths and legends true? Does it matter? Liked Homer, Aristophanes And Nietzsche too. Foundations of western culture; A vulture for knowledge. So I can and I will Pick bones Out of you.

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Still Looking

I have been away a long time Looking for some thing I could not find; Like Odysseus, I took many detours My dear Penelope. I lost my way and my mind But I held on to Ariadnes Thread. As when Theseus Slew the minotaur It is said. Myths and legends I grew up Knowing. The exploits of ancient heroes. That was a mistake For I cannot break the bond. Now I value you as a friend. I suppose You know more of me Than any other does. Tell me what you see How does this end? In a galaxy of probability. But remember, Life is just a spell.

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Formality

He's a creature of formality, And the banality Of it. He got caught By gravity. Explain that to me? Can't you see The brutality of it? And honestly I came unprepared For this exam. But subconsciously I kind of know who I am. Don’t lose the place, You are just wasting Time. The pattern here I cannot displace Leave no trace, Lest life leaves you in disgrace.  

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How Does It Feel?

How does it feel? I have no reputation. The music seems unreal, Defies my expectation. Let's keep this real. Been a long time Since I felt your skin Next to me; But trust me Darling I can't forget, And of course I regret What happened between us. I have a different focus now, You have too; But you are always in my lens, Does not cleans The charm of you. Wish it did, But it don’t And so I steal Another day.

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Too Much

We kiss, we touch Am I too much? Did I come on too strong? Love means more to me Than I could ever say, But I still like to play. Sorry, I was wrong; Misfired reasoning, Thoughts gone astray. Forgive my indiscretion; Caught in the moment I guess, where I belong. Take me up, Take me higher. You have the quiet power To inspire. Yes, I need tighter rhymes Yes, I need better rhythm. There is nothing given here. Don’t be kind, I am not blind, Just can't seem to see; But I will find A way To climb the tower Of my expectation I have to believe that much.  

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Prayer to Who?

Lead me from confusion And delusion, Deliver me from falsity. Test my humanity. You will see Far from perfect, I am circumspect In word and deed. I don’t believe in sin But right and wrong. I know which side  The ledger of life I wish to be on. The immutable past has gone. The future is uncertain Does the curtain close? Very odd how you chose. Now make a list And count the things that you have missed. Some quite small, Others massive And all this time you were passive. Why? You must enquire within. Amen.

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Soul Stealer – First Idea for Psychosis Book

I woke up and looked in the mirror while you lay in bed. Still no reflection. Sun light in the room cast shadows, but not mine. In a panic I dressed hastily to leave the house. “Come back to bed” you said. “No” “Why not?” “I have to meet someone” looking at the clock I was already late. “Who?” “Non of your fucking business!” I screamed. “You can't speak to people like that.” “I just did.” “ I don’t think you're very nice.” I gave a slow sarcastic hand clap. “Top of the class, now fuck off.” Nonplussed you dressed and left. “Bye the way, no calls, no emails, no letters, but you were good. Byeee” I said. The door slammed, I watched which way you went. Then exited quietly in the opposite direction, breaking into a run to reach the rendezvous. I wanted it back. I reached the café, he wasn’t there yet. But he never broke a promise. Breathless, I sat down, ordered coffee. I saw him pass the window, he came through the door. I had seen him many times before, and he smiled at me and took a seat. “Well, hello there” the richness of his voice drew you forward. He continued.” You're still alive, in a way, but my, how you have changed.” My fists balled under the table. He laughed. “You can't hurt me. But I can erase you because now, you belong to ME.” “NO” I shouted. The people in the café looked at us. “Moderate yourself boy. Don’t frighten, it achieves nothing. Are you unhappy with the deal we struck?” His face was full of sympathy, and barely hidden malice. He went on. “You have been granted every childish dream you thought of. What you did with them was down to you.” My chest heaved as I knew this was true. “But what about me” I pleaded. He smirked. “You know there is no 'me'. Its just a construct to get you through the day. A trick of the mind. No self. Your Buddha got close, but difficult to bribe. Now you're a horse of a different colour. Eminently corruptible” his steady…

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The Beat

Don’t give me shit, It just don’t fit. I ride my BMW Down the street Where the elite live. No one looks at me. I don’t rob liquor stores. Money bores me; You need it of course, But you are too young and clever And what ever happens I accept as finality. I was thinking the same thing. Ding Ding, Enter the ring once more First punch means something.   You cant forget Once you heard it. The turgid repetition Is complete, But has no harmony And the spell on me Cannot defy gravity. I wish it would, An angel without wings To fly, Just mere mortal And brings Passions of desire. The fire of man. I have the resting heart beat Of a dolphin or whale So I am drawn to sea.

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My Emotion Now

Some people might get some pleasure, You're not one, I am sure. On my radio I can put on a show. You were my anchor, Now I am all at sea. Pen to page I don’t know where this leads; It's unformed. Like me. But you get what you see. Made many mistakes But never deceived. I love you too much, Now I can't touch.

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The Cynic

  I live in empty spaces, In the interstice Of life. Not looking for another, I just don’t want a wife. This is no gimmick; I am a professional Cynic. We lead seamless lives. One day folds to another. And yesterdays traces are gone. Where they go I do not know But memory persists.      

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Not Impressive

I know I am not impressive; But I am generous and kind. I pay no mind To those Who find My actions are deplorable. I just want to help, I still think you're adorable. That won't go away, And so I say goodbye My princess. This hurts me more than I can say And I prey And I pray; But there is no way back, I fell too far, No retrieving, No deceiving of who you are.

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