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No Strings

Gradually, I became impossible, even to myself. Witnessing an interminable fall, My lifestyle ensured this was the only outcome I was oblivious, Blind to the consequences, But I knew this could not go on. The tedium of me left you no option. You deserved much, much more And falling in love will always trump hard currency Regardless of how much. The connections forged by emotion, The strongest. Money is just the score In a pointless game And greed the motivation. So I am left with friendship, And grateful for it. The spirit of your heart Beats for another. You will find me no trouble, If I can help, I will, No strings. I cannot consider others, it would be unfair, Because they are not you. These are the thoughts That I store.

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The Currency Of Love

 The weakness in the currency of love Even darkness cannot hide the truth, Bartered, traded and exchanged, A minor cut each time, Till all is gone Used upon Consumed, Yet a shell remains A façade if you will, The fakery of living Leaves me withering On the vine. Am I going mad? Have I become deranged? What matter, Who gives a whit I will try to explain. My mind seems intact Never clearer. I see my dissolution Reflected in the mirror Where once I saw my face Looking suspisciously well But I know inside There is nothing but a shell Bad things can happen and are done In the name of love Born of a capricious nature I cannot do this again But there is no magic cure So I am drawn to the light The light and the pain

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Tall Trees

When I slip in the mud of reality, Where the tall trees grow Roots so ancient Then I will know I am home Once again. I taught you to hunt Yet weigh the cost Of love and life often lost Death comes easy When living gets hard And shards of ice Pierce your heart, Is a cold embrace Better than none? I don’t know What I have won I muse on what went by, Incoherent clouds of joy, Planes leave contrails in the sky. Thin scars And all the years Lead to this day The strings Well up inside And drown out The sound That echo Distant memory.

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Free Climber

I craved success Measured by money. I grew up thinking, this would make me happy, But it didn’t. I bought flash cars, Houses and clothes And rose to my limited potential. Thought I was special, A chosen one But I was not happy. Now that it was done Something happened in my head, This was confusing. I took a bruising, Eviscerated And berated. I could not bear to look at myself, The cost had been immeasurable. The fakes, I often state Will not break the fall of a man exculpate. I scale steep walls of confusion Like a “ free” climber. No ropes or harness Against a bleak mountain But surges and urges go on.

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Blades and Dreams

He had a chain saw And a razor. The way things seem In my dreams, I cant get over, Don’t know why I bother. Maybe I should be quiet For a while, But there is a riot In my head. I must calm down. I see by your frown You do not agree, But this is me, You get what you see. A cat that walks alone Is prone To mishap, But values his privacy, Above all else. No shame in that. His capacity For love, All gone. So he drones On of love lost, Yet counted again, And again. Stuck in a vortex, I need no respect. I can't bring you down, But I am bound By honour.

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Dignity

Maybe I am a reject, Spoilt goods, So I feel dejected. Much was expected. Head of school, captain of football, Not tall stories, But blind ambition cost more than I can ever show. I love you dearly That much you know, So its no surprise I can't compromise, No one else will do at all. As I write, I bite my knuckles Till they are raw And if I get the call, I will not go quietly. People look at me As I walk the streets. Is he a tragedy? Someone tell me As I can't see, But the penalty is great. I don’t believe in fate, And for the record I state I do not want a debate, So just step aside, My personal pride Is at stake

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A Storm

I don’t get off on this. My promise to you Full of platitudes. Not being rude In any way shape or form, But a storm is coming. I can smell it And I walk the streets Of oxford, Bored out of my mind, Not blind To possibility. Love gives you that, But catch 22 Can I tell the truth, I can lie no more. If you have memories Stored. Reflect on them, And if you respect them, Just give me a clue And I can show you What I can do.

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Relic

I am a relic From a bygone age, I don’t need confrontation. Just a small town boy In a rage. Don’t lock me up, I will get out of any cage you put me in. Now shut up. I will give this tale a different spin. There is one offer On the table. What's true, What's not. I proffer some advice, Before you answer the question, Don’t lie. Mendacity hurts the giver Like drinking poison, Expecting the other to die. But I can see when you go too far, You forget who you are And invention turns cold. So I stole As I was out of ideas. I was not objective, Left me covered in tears. The degradation Becomes my reality. I guess I was lucky, I had a certain talent, And a work ethic that would not quit. I wish things were different Between you and me, But they are not, And I forgot to mention My point of reference, And supported by evidence. I have been with women before, But you are the one I adore, But it makes no difference anymore.

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One Nighter

I was breathing for the moment from a one night stand. I know what I did. I repeat, no comment, But life toys with us all, And the fall Of a man can be great. This feels like a confession But its just too late. Not looking to ingratiate, But I am dead weight. I am a victim, Of the monument I created. I want this for the record And was always told, Things would be ok for me, But they weren’t. Fingers burnt, But I cant leave the field. Come back with your shield or, on it.

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Stranger

Don’t score with girls no more Bit of a bore. I find life a chore. I could sleep with a whore, And get STDs. Instinct tells me If this doesn’t kill me, It will make me stronger, But I am a stranger To myself. I have a limited shelf life, My sell by date already passed. Mom took thalidomide. It helps with morning sickness. I wasn’t born defective. That was down to me, And I find myself Mixed with controversy. Good guy, bad guy. Quick shag or marry. I have a second skin, Maybe a dozen more. The difference is thin. My implosion, In slow motion, I see every day. I understand the agony, My mental state Can fluctuate, From joy To utter despair. I thought this was How every one felt, But I was dealt A card of chance. It had your image on it, So I looked for romance. Like a stray dog seeking a home And when it doesn’t happen You cry to your soul. My tears are private, Even alone. A scavenger of life, Like an hyena. I could not say it plainer, Still a stranger To my life.

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You

I look back At reality You may not like what you see A certain familiarity Waves over me I have seen this all before That’s the core Of my anxiety Repetitive Fantasy Some say Lock him away Throw away the key Don’t matter to me I wasn’t here in the first place Perfect alibi See, truth is solid gold to me I don’t leave a trace My shit can be crude I can be rude But I showed How I feel Didn’t borrow or steal Trying to make a deal Purely platonic No tectonic Shift required But I always admired Your comments are barbed That’s so fucking sexy Takes real ingenuity And fluidity of speech When people say you are tough They are not good enough Can't compete The bail queen struts her stuff

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Soldier

His guns are blazing The action amazing Wasn’t meant to be here But the fear It strikes He cant pull the trigger No more A score of men Lying on the floor Probably had wives and kids Just like he did He shoots the wounded In the head No prisoners taken Some how he feels broken He knows he is bigger than this Quickly dismisses the thought If fighting taught Him one thing of course You can't have remorse Lock and load lads On my signal Follow me We lose men today Don’t be one of them Fight for your life In this perishing cold A soldiers life Aint served well We go to hell or die Do as I say boys Stay brave We can see this through Aim at the head Surest way Don’t cave We are a body forged In the fire of will Ready to kill They must not get away Today is the day Fix bayonets And we gorge On their blood We cannot be slaves Lock and load lads On my signal. Follow me. We lose men today, Don’t be one of them. Fight for your life In this perishing cold. A soldier's life Ain't served well. We go to hell or die. Do as I say boys, Stay brave. We can see this through; Aim at the head. Surest way Don’t cave. We are a body forged In the fire of will, Ready to kill. They must not get away Today is the day. Fix bayonets And we gorge On there blood We cannot be slaves.

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Ten Bears

He walks with a swagger That’s something of a front Wears Savill Row suits But he feels like a c'nt There is a dagger in his pocket Which should not be there He could eat you for breakfast Without a care Quiet as a grave yard In the middle of the night You played with him once His last chance Blown away Went from hero To zero In your eyes Was waybegone But had the grit to carry on A white flag Tied to my gun Except peace A'int much fun to me I do whatever it takes To get things done My name is Ten Bears Only strength cares Survival walk free

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Junkie

His face looks sweaty You can bet he knows what happens next Andrenalin kicks in Flows through his body But the pain Won't go away Not today Not tomorrow So he lives a life in sorrow For something he never did Just want you to know He accepts the situation He is in No regrets or anger Will pacify him The needle marks In his arm Don’t seem to heal So he steals from his future And that’s quit stark

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Look Who’s Back

Stevie's back Don’t take jack Sees the lights Of authority Waving at him. On his knees does it please You? I doubt it That would be sadistic; Not in your nature. Is there no cure? Don’t be a critic, Let's get specific. Rejected all my life, But I turned out terrific. You kissed me to bed at night, You reeked of cigarttes And cheap sherry. I bury the thoughts. Such a pity. You weren't bad, Essentially good, But you could Never Understand What I am about.

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No More

I stagger when I walk And I spit when I talk. But my eloquence Is no recompense For what I put you through. Sure you got money; I know you didn’t want it But I flaunt it Anyway. I miss your cheeky face Every day of my life. Love severed Impossible to To replace. Not a snow man, I don’t melt away. Been dealt duff hands before But sure I can recover And discover a new reality.

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Hope

You. You Gave me hope That what I saw was true; But that, That was pure fantasy. No melody But discord. And you know me. Just wanted to stay true To you I, I know you're with another. You. You’ve told me many times before I wish I didn’t care so much But somehow I do First love, Last love. Am I looking for crutch To buy Or will I get by?

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Gotta

Gotta write, Gotta write Or I did shite today. Have to say, Have to say That don’t sit easy with me. And I pray, And I pray For inspiration. It don’t come, It don’t come Am I just dumb? Doesn’t happen that way. Concentrate, Concentrate; Try to relate. I must ask, I must ask Were you born that way?

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Lost in Admiration

I am lost in admiration. My precision Is quite good. I can't touch you anymore, The boundaries created Leave me flat on the floor. But I get up again Or love is not true. I think it is; You give it, Take it, Some times even fake it. That leads to complications, Thwarted And aborted; Views of life contorted. Take love and passion aside Can you abide with what is left? a question for me I think.

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Inquisitive F****r

Tied to the mast He heard their call; Rapturous voices Beckoned him to fall. They cast a spell on him; “untie me, untie me” But they wouldn’t at all. Told not to By him. Are myths and legends true? Does it matter? Liked Homer, Aristophanes And Nietzsche too. Foundations of western culture; A vulture for knowledge. So I can and I will Pick bones Out of you.

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